Waiting.....

"Patience is a virtue"....."Good things come to those who wait".....

I know the sayings but I'm still working on being cheerful in the waiting.  

I like to plan and organize things so that means there is usually a time frame when I think the thing "should" get done. A desire to "check off the box" and complete the task.

But now there is area in my life which I have no control over and I am learning how to wait....and it is not easy....

I want to see the suffering stop....I want God to help and heal her....but His timing is not my own.....

It doesn't mean that it will never happen....it would just be easier for me and our family if it just "got fixed" now.

But maybe it isn't a "quick fix" issue....maybe there are many layers and walls to tear down, brick by brick so that a new foundation of love can be rebuilt.

It takes time to rebuild....it also takes courage and strength.....for the attacks are great but the battle so important to be fought and won....


"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." 1 Peter 3:9

"A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people." 2 Timothy 2:24


I am realizing that I don't have enough courage and strength right now on my own.....it is time to ask for help from the source of strength....there is no other way to rebuild these walls....only to talk with the Master Builder.....

"May God, who gives you this endurance and encouragement, allow you to live in harmony with each other by following the example of Christ Jesus." Romans 15:5

Lost in beauty.....

Ever see a sunrise that totally took your breath away?  

You found yourself memorized by the different colors painted in the sky...there was a peaceful awe as you gazed at something so amazing you just couldn't put it into words....

I find myself noticing more sunrises and sunsets lately....stopping to gaze just a little longer than I would before.....with a sense of longing for a place I would rather be....somewhere beautiful, peaceful.....somewhere without fear and pain and sorrow....

We were made for so much more....made to live in a beautiful place with dazzling colors filled with life and love. That's what draws us to these displays in nature.....drawn into a peek of what is to come when we stop and take in those small glimpses of heaven that we are shown in the skies from time to time.

Remember to stop and look.....this world is so distracting and it wants nothing more than to keep you too busy to look at the skies....too busy to think about what life could be...was meant to be....if only we would stop....and remember....

Choosing Joy....

I always thought joy was just a feeling....like being super happy and smiling....you know "full of joy"!

What I am learning is that joy is so much more.....

I also find it interesting that the only time I ponder what joy really is, is when I feel it missing in my life....those days when I start crying for no reason during a bedtime story....the times when whispers of the past are heard and the memory breaks my heart in two...leaving me in despair and searching for a way out..... 

When my heart cries out for more joy....that is when I ask...what is JOY and where does it come from?

Maybe it's this time of year....when the days are short and the sun is behind the clouds. The season of Christmas is over and now joy has to be fought for each day. To obtain it means we need to want it...need it....desire to have that calm delight in the moment....that is JOY.

"Joy is the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright. It's also the determined choice to praise God in every situation. Joy is the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life."  from Kay Warren's book  "Choose Joy"

Today I choose joy because without it, my life is empty. It lacks that glimmer of something beautiful which makes my days different...better....lighter. 
  
"These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."  John 15:11

"But let all those who take refuge in you rejoice, Let them always shout for joy, because you defend them. Let them also who love your name be joyful in you"  Psalm 5:11

"You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore"  Psalm 16:11

"Don't be dejected and sad, for the joy of the LORD is your strength!"  Nehemiah 8:10

The eyes of my heart.....

Have you ever experienced something that you couldn't really explain? 

Something a bit different one day that just didn't make sense but you know for a fact it really happened? 

How do we explain these things? 

How do we trust and believe that sometimes, there is more to life than what we can see?

It is by faith that these events can be explained....faith....the belief in what is unseen and the strong conviction that it is completely true.

By faith I can say that the most amazing thing happened when I went under water that afternoon.....I could see.....but not with my human eyes. 

Can I explain it? No, not really but here is what happened....

My baptism day at Lake Minnetonka in Mound, MN was a warm and sunny late June afternoon. About 35 people from Freshwater Church of St Boni, MN went over to the public beach after the morning church services to baptize by immersion those who desired to be.

I was excited. My husband, Bryan, had been baptized just 6 months before and this time, I was ready. I had surrendered my life to Jesus back in December and ever since then, there had been an ache...a deep longing in my chest (heart) to go underwater which I could not explain. 

My family and many of my close church friends were there to celebrate my special day. I waded out into the water to Pastor John and he spoke the words to me....

"I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit; as you died in the likeness of Christ, you are risen onto new life".

John asked if I was ready?  "Yes" I replied. I plugged my nose with my right hand, held my elbow with my left hand and closed my eyes.....

John tipped me backwards and under the water.....

and as I was laying flat in the lake water....I suddenly...very clearly, saw the sunlight glittering through the surface of the water about 12" above my head. It was a strange, greenish color and the sun light was dancing around...then I saw the sky and clouds again as I was lifted back up out of the water. 

It was incredible! I walked over to my family and received big hugs from my kids and husband. Later when I told John that I saw the water during my baptism and he said "oh, you kept your eyes open huh?", I suddenly realized that I had not opened my eyes the entire time! All the pictures from three different angles show that my eyes are closed the entire time and yet, I could see....

How could this be?

My only way to explain it is to believe that the eyes of my heart or spirit were opened that day and I could see more than what my earthly eyes could at that moment.

The green I saw is visible just under my right elbow in the picture above and I was amazed to see that perfect color captured in the photo.

"Then the eyes of those who see will no longer be closed, and the ears of those who hear will listen"   Isaiah 32:3

"I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints"   Ephesians 1:18